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The New Steine Bistro
I love eating out. I love the whole dining experience: the being greeted and seated; the decision making process; the warmth, lighting, music and chatter; being waited upon; sampling new food and drink and, of course, not having to wash-up afterwards. So, I approached The New Steine Hotel with a hungry and excited belly and rang the door bell. Hervé, the hotelier and restaurateur, greeted me and my partner Marc with a big smile, plenty of flattering comments and a rather loud shirt. I giggled.
We were shown to our table in the restaurant downstairs from the hotel. My first impression was of a hotel's breakfast room. And, of course, that's exactly what it is. That's not to say it's bad, because it's not, it's actually rather nice. After dark, The New Steine Bistro comes alive: the walls are spotted with colourful paintings of typical French scenes (men riding bikes and ladies collecting baguettes); the lighting and music is barely noticeable, which must be good; there's plenty of chatter amongst the Kemp Town locals and it feels intimate, cosy, even personal - like we've been invited to a private party!
The food? Ah, the food. Well, the chef Stephane is from Montmartre, Paris, Hervé (Stephane's cousin), is French, his partner Georgés is French and the Bistro food and drink is, well, as French as you'll get in Brighton! The menu, with approximately 6 or 7 dishes per course, seems exactly the right size and includes plenty of variety in tastes and flavours. There are offerings for hardy meat and game eaters including: Braised Lamb Shank with Red Currant Sauce and Cabbage Mash; Duck Confit with Lentils, Lardons and Carrots; Pork Chops in Mustard with Ratatouille and hearty Sirloin Steaks. The dishes for fish and seaford lovers include: Smoked Fish Platter; Fish Soup with Croutons, Grated Gruyere and Rouille Sauce and mussels, shark, and tuna steaks. Seuilleté d'escargots (snails in pastry) with Wild Mushrooms is also on offer. Vegetarians may sulk with their limited options but that shouldn't be much of a surprise for anyone who's ever visited France.
As soon as we're comfortable, Zsarday, our 6'2", snake hipped waitress, delivers us a basket of various fresh bread with butter and offers us an appetizer of Kir. We accept. Zsarday is immaculately presented, she has nails like Murano glass, thick glossy hair, perfectly placed make-up, wears a skin-tight baby pink mini dress and has breasts to die for. Marc isn't sure where to look and I can't keep my eyes off her! We re-focus on the menu and she takes our order.
I can't resist the Mussels in Garlic Butter and Tomato Sauce as a starter (after all, summer is nearly over and R's are back in the month), and a Salad Niçoise with Tuna Steak for my main dish. Marc requests the Onion Tart with Watercress Salad to be followed by Shark Steak with Peppers, Lime and Coriander. A glass of house white would go down just splendidly too.
The mussels surprise me. I expect a bowl to pick over but out came 6 very large mussels laid bare on a plate, presented more like oysters than mussels they raise my expectations. They are very tasty indeed, sumptuously juicy, melt-in-your-mouth delicious; I savour each one and soak up the garlic butter after with the bread. Marc's tart is equally as good. The pastry is flaky and buttery, the onions are firm and sweet. It is accompanied by turgid watercress and finely chopped shallots sautéed in balsamic vinegar. These textures compliment each other perfectly. The wine is, of course, French, which I feel is undeserving of its current unpopularity amongst the fashionata as it proves to be smooth, fresh and fruity, nicely chilled and very palatable indeed.
Our mains arrived with perfect timing. My Salad Niçoise is plentiful with crisp green leaves, fine green beans, warm new potatoes, room temperature cherry tomatoes, salty black olives, hard boiled eggs and a slab of grilled tuna on top. The tuna is delicious; juicy, firm, slightly chewy and flavoursome. The salad was missing dressing which would have topped it off nicely but that's my only complaint. Marc's Shark dish was fabulous. A fair sized shark steak is served on a bed of roasted bell peppers with olive oil, garlic, lime and coriander. The ingredients were combined perfectly and the flavours delicate. The shark's flesh was fresh, white and very moist and slipped easily down the gullet like you might a shark's throat.
Room for dessert? Absolutely. My Banana Caramel and Cream dessert also came as a surprise (I'm learning fast not to assume I'm ordering the dish in my minds eye). I'm imagining a twist on a banoffi pie to arrive, instead I get a sponge layered with very bitter whipped cream and glazed with a nutty caramel. It was beautifully presented but unfortunately not to my taste as I would have preferred something sweeter. Marc however, placed a winning bet. His Pecan & Walnut Cheesecake was sweet and satisfying and rounded off his meal with thumbs up.
By the end of the evening the atmosphere was very high; a mixture of good French food and wine, Zsarday's increasingly loud banter with Hervé, and happy customers with full bellies and fluid minds. Faulty Towers meets La Cage Aux Follies it may be but a highly enjoyable and entertaining evening it certainly was.
£12.50 - 2 Courses
£15.50 - 3 Courses
Dec 2002
Guide price £20| KEY |  Licensed restaurant |
 Unlicensed restaurant |
 Read the VB review |
 Takeaway menu |
No Smoking area |
 Kids facilities |